Not-so-happy camper...

     So, Tuesday I had an appointment with the cardiologist.  I had a huge list of questions for him and I was hoping to get some positive answers.  I just wanted to know that I could do "normal" stuff again.  I was none too enthused when he crushed my hopes of getting better soon.  He was also very cold and not too optimistic about my approach to natural healing.  I want to go to the chiropractor, he said, "That doesn't really work.  It's only psychological."  I wanted to start taking some supplements.  He said "They won't work, it's a waste of money".  I have been wanting a new tattoo for more than 5 years now, and I have found the perfect design that represents me and the struggles that I have been through in the last few months. He said, "I wouldn't recommend it."  (I think that was more of a personal preference on his part and not so much a medical reason.)  He also said that I needed to stop eating so much broccoli because it is screwing up the results of my blood tests (it has to do with the Coumadin that I am on). That stinks because the only thing that tastes good without salt is COOKED BROCCOLI! Did he offer a solution to my predicament? Nope.  He just said either to eat it EVERY single day, or not at all.  I understand why, but I don't get why he didn't suggest something for a compromise.  :(

     I was fairly angry with him at this point, but got plain ol' pissed off when he made his next comment.  He asked me if I was breastfeeding!  I almost fell out of my chair.  Did he completely forget that he was the one who told me NOT to breastfeed Evan when I went home from the hospital?!?!  Did he forget that HE said that the medications I would be on would leach into the breast milk and make Evan sick?!?!  I was so angry!  HE was the one who prescribed the meds!!!!  Was he saying what I think he was saying?, that I COULD have breastfed Evan when I was released?  Why didn't he tell me that, why didn't anybody tell me it was OK????  :(  I can't believe he let me pump and dump and get Evan all situated with formula when I could have been giving my son the best nourishment possible this whole time! 

     As I waited for more unwanted words to come out of his mouth, I sat and thought for a minute that maybe I needed to find a new cardiologist.  I need someone who is going to be on the same wavelength with me, or rather someone who I wouldn't mind being on the same wavelength with.  I wouldn't mind one who is female who would be better able to answer my female questions.  And I wouldn't mind one who would be more open to "natural" healing and such.  I needed someone who was going to be more in tune to my thoughts and feelings about this whole condition and new lifestyle.

     After what seemed like an hour of wasting my breath asking questions that he seemed to not really want to answer, the cardiologist said he was adding ANOTHER medication (to my already long list of drugs!) since I WASN'T breastfeeding of course.  He said that it is supposed to help keep my blood pressure low since it had been a bit high. I am already taking one that helps lower it so I am not quite sure why he wants me to take another one, but I guess since I'm not the doctor I don't have much say in the matter.  I discovered, however, that after taking it just once that it makes my blood pressure drop way down, 88-99 over 65-70.  The last time my BP was that low was when I was in the ICU and it made me dizzy and I almost passed out.  It worries me a bit.  I can't be on a medication that might potentially make me pass out.  Especially when I am the sole caregiver for Evan during the day. I think that it just makes me nervous.  And I really don't need ANY other stuff added to my list of things that make me nervous or anxious right now. 

     I go back to see the cardiologist in a month, so we'll see what happens then.