Today I woke up early (if you call 8:30 early). I am by myself enjoing the quiet, it is weird though, having "me time". I can hear Evan starting to stir in his sleep...I wonder if he can tell when I am awake...In the quiet hours of the morning I am trying to ready myself for the events of the day. I wanted to sleep in, but have too much on my mind for that. So, I am up and awake and ready for the day...
We leave for Houghton Lake for a week on Saturday morning and I couldn't be more excited. We will be spending it with my mom and dad~like we do every year...but next year I think we will get our own cabin-we are outgrowing theirs :) We have needed a vacation...Aaron has needed a vacation and is extremely deserving of it for all of his hard work in the past 4 months. We are going to be out and about getting last minute things ready for our travels and time away from home. Most importantly, FISHING LICENCES!!! It is pretty much the only time of year that I fish, but it is a great way for me to spend time with my dad, and I am pretty good at if I do say so myself~pictures to come later of my big catch. :)
I am so nervous. I could hardly sleep last night and when I finally did fall asleep, I woke up every few hours, WIDE awake. Today is also the day of my 3 month echocardiogram, even though it is closer to 4 months after my diagnosis. I won't see my cardiologist to discuss the results until the middle of next month. I am hoping that the echo tech will be able to let me know at least what my ejection fraction is`how well my heart is pumping. I have been doing extremely good at following my diet and fluid restrictions, and I ALWAYS remember to take my medication. I know that I am feeling good, and that SHOULD be all that matters...BUT I really want physical proof that I am doing well and on my way to recovery. The only way for me to know that for sure is to see it for myself on the echo and for the tech to tell me what my EF is. We shall see. I will post an update later. For now, I will just try to relax, maybe do a puzzle on Jigzone, and wait for my Dad to arrive to watch Evan while Aaron and I head off to Sparrow.
Wish me Luck! :)
Showing posts with label Hospital. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hospital. Show all posts
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
It's been a while...
It has been a while since I posted anything, so I decided I should try while Evan is content at the moment. To fill you all in on the goings on lately, I will start with the beginning of May. Evan had his very first sleepover (on purpose) with my mom and dad so Aaron and I could get a good nights sleep. It was weird. I missed Evan, but knew that I needed the sleep. I had my very first Mother's Day. It was nice. Aaron and I stayed at home for dinner, it is just easier for me to cook because of my special diet. We watched some movies and I think I even went to bed early. :)
I am still doing well with my diet, fluid restriction and remembering to take my medications. My blood pressure is where it should be, and I am maintaining my weight. I really have been doing well, but the other day something happened. All of a sudden I didn't feel right. I got a little light headed and dizzy, so I took my nighttime medication since it was time, and I checked my blood pressure. It was elevated and so was my pulse. I sat down and tried to focus my breathing hoping it would help. I was scared. I thought I was having a relapse. I called the cardiologist who was on-call and he said it wouldn't be a bad idea to go to the ER and get checked out. It is amazing how fast you get seen in the ER when you have a heart condition. We waited 2 minutes at the most and the waiting room was PACKED. After tests and chest x-rays, and blood-work, and seeing a few doctors, I was released. It was deduced that I was having a bit of an anxiety attack. They gave me some Ativan and sent me home. I don't know if it worked that night, because by the time we got home, it was 3 am, so I slept like a baby regardless of what they gave me. Plus, my mom and dad too Evan home with them for the night so he didn't have to stay in the hospital with us. I was given a small Rx for Ativan, but I can only take it at bedtime since it makes me sleepy. I have an appointment with my regular Doctor tomorrow afternoon to follow up. I am hoping she gives me something that I can take for this anxiety that won't hinder my ability to function and be a mom. We'll see how it goes. :)
I am still doing well with my diet, fluid restriction and remembering to take my medications. My blood pressure is where it should be, and I am maintaining my weight. I really have been doing well, but the other day something happened. All of a sudden I didn't feel right. I got a little light headed and dizzy, so I took my nighttime medication since it was time, and I checked my blood pressure. It was elevated and so was my pulse. I sat down and tried to focus my breathing hoping it would help. I was scared. I thought I was having a relapse. I called the cardiologist who was on-call and he said it wouldn't be a bad idea to go to the ER and get checked out. It is amazing how fast you get seen in the ER when you have a heart condition. We waited 2 minutes at the most and the waiting room was PACKED. After tests and chest x-rays, and blood-work, and seeing a few doctors, I was released. It was deduced that I was having a bit of an anxiety attack. They gave me some Ativan and sent me home. I don't know if it worked that night, because by the time we got home, it was 3 am, so I slept like a baby regardless of what they gave me. Plus, my mom and dad too Evan home with them for the night so he didn't have to stay in the hospital with us. I was given a small Rx for Ativan, but I can only take it at bedtime since it makes me sleepy. I have an appointment with my regular Doctor tomorrow afternoon to follow up. I am hoping she gives me something that I can take for this anxiety that won't hinder my ability to function and be a mom. We'll see how it goes. :)
Friday, May 6, 2011
Going Home
All I wanted was to go home. I missed my baby and I missed my husband. I wanted get home so I could finish unpacking and organizing our new place. I wanted to start being a real family in our new home. I was tired of being hooked up to IVs. One of the medications that I was on was a diuretic that was used to help get rid of the extra fluid in my body. It drained 20+ pounds from my body in a very short amount of time. I literally felt drained. My muscles were weak, my bones hurt, and my skin felt floppy. My arms were sore from all of the blood draws and IV lines. I wanted so desperately to take a shower and scrub off all the yuck from the adhesive stickies they used to monitor me. I just wanted to put on some of my own clean jammies.
After several days of terrible news, I received the best news ever on Tuesday. My cardiologist came to see me in the morning and told me that if my blood tests came back the way he wanted them too, I would get to go home. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, my nurse came in and said it was time to pack up. It took a little while to get discharged. They had to give me all kinds of information for me to read about heart health that I had to take home. They gave me orders to monitor my weight, blood pressure, and diet on a daily basis. I also was given all kinds of prescriptions that I had to take. By early afternoon, I was being wheeled towards the EXIT. I was finally going home. I was a little nervous. It was a bit surreal. I had wanted to go home so bad but now that I was in the car on my way to see my family, I was unsure if I was ready. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to take care of Evan well enough. I was afraid that I wasn't strong enough.
After several days of terrible news, I received the best news ever on Tuesday. My cardiologist came to see me in the morning and told me that if my blood tests came back the way he wanted them too, I would get to go home. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, my nurse came in and said it was time to pack up. It took a little while to get discharged. They had to give me all kinds of information for me to read about heart health that I had to take home. They gave me orders to monitor my weight, blood pressure, and diet on a daily basis. I also was given all kinds of prescriptions that I had to take. By early afternoon, I was being wheeled towards the EXIT. I was finally going home. I was a little nervous. It was a bit surreal. I had wanted to go home so bad but now that I was in the car on my way to see my family, I was unsure if I was ready. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to take care of Evan well enough. I was afraid that I wasn't strong enough.
When I got home, I was greeted with flashes of light. My family was there to welcome me home. It was a such a warm reception. Many surprises awaited me. Sometime while I was in the hospital, my brother in-law and some friends of ours took it upon themselves to help unpack our apartment and move in new furniture for us. I couldn't believe my eyes. I also was surprised to see a brand new bed and box spring courtesy of my God parents and Aunt and Uncle. I was beyond grateful. I never really knew how much I meant to people. It was nice to finally be home. I was so glad that my family was there to share in my homecoming. I am so thankful for them and all of our friends who were there for Aaron and Evan while I was away. Thank you, you know who you are. :)
Monday, May 2, 2011
When my world fell apart...
I felt so alone. I needed to be with my husband and I needed to be with my baby. I just wanted to go home. I was uncomfortable and afraid. I was on so much nitroglycerin that I got migraines. I have never had one before, and hope to never have one again. They had to gave me morphine to relieve the pain. I slept for a few hours at a time, but as soon as I woke up, the migraines returned. They would give me more morphine and I would go back to sleep. I had to get my blood drawn 2-3 times a day, even when I was sleeping. I was still on oxygen and I was getting my blood pressure checked every 15 minutes. It was still fairly high, so they couldn't take me off any of the medication or IVs. I had a lot of visitors. My Aunts and Uncle drove through the night and into the wee hours of the morning to come see me and Evan. It was so nice of them to want to be there for us, and for the rest of my family too.
I felt like the main attraction in a circus. There were tons of new doctors coming in to see me all the time, OBs, General Docs, Interns, and Cardiologists. Everyone asked the same questions. They all wanted to listen to my heart and my lungs. Not one of them came to see me more than once. It was just annoying. I was tired of being hooked up to machines. I felt like they a pincushion. I was bored and exhausted and just wanted to go home and be a new family with Aaron and Evan. After my blood pressure had gone down a little, and I wasn't on as much nitroglycerin, I was finally able to get out of my bed and sit in a chair. Then a new Cardiologist, Dr. Yoo, came in and explained what needed to happen in order for me to be healthy enough to go home. I was NOT prepared for what came out of his mouth. He told me that I would NOT be able to breastfeed Evan when I went home because I would be on medication for a long time, I started to cry. He then proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't have any more children because I would have a relapse and it would probably kill me. I was crushed. I hadn't even had a chance to enjoy being a new mom to Evan and do the things I had planned because I was stuck in the hospital. They were telling me that I wouldn't EVER have the chance to do those things. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. Dr. Yoo said that it was extremely important not to put any extra stress on my heart and that my blood pressure needed to go down before we could even think about going home. How in the hell is my blood pressure supposed to go down when they deliver such awful news?!?! I cried for hours and I REALLY wanted to go home and hold Evan and squeeze him and kiss him and love him as much as I could. Aaron was really upset. He was told the day before and had requested that HE be the one to break the news to me, gently, at a later time.
On Friday, Evan was discharged. He was being well taken care of at my mom and dad's house with all of the Aunties and Uncles there. I was sad that I couldn't be with him, but I knew that I needed to stay at the hospital so I could get well so I would be able to take care of him.
When my blood pressure started to go down, they lowered the nitroglycerin and my headaches finally went away. At one point, my blood pressure got so low that I almost passed out. I found out later that they kind of expected it because they had to try and figure out how much medication it would take to lower it. Well, I found out the hard way. It happened 2 more times before they finally adjusted it to where it needed to be.
On Saturday, I was moved to the Cardiac Care Unit. I was still on IVs and oxygen, but I didn't have the blood pressure cuff or the monitor anymore. I was able to get up and walk around and sit in a chair. It was nice. I was still sad that I had to be there and miss out on many of Evan's firsts. Aaron stayed the night with me and I was so glad that I cried. I had felt so alone, even with all of the visitors. On Sunday, Aaron went to stay with my mom and dad so he could be with Evan. I was all alone again, and cried some more, but I had a surprise coming and I was very excited.
On Monday, Aaron brought Evan to see me. I was so happy I cried...again. I hadn't seen him in a few days and he looked like a whole new baby. He wasn't yellow anymore, but that wasn't what was different. He was growing and changing and I felt like I was missing it. I was angry that I couldn't leave. I was however very grateful that the nurses had pushed for me to have a private room so I could spend as much time with Evan as I wanted. :)
I felt like the main attraction in a circus. There were tons of new doctors coming in to see me all the time, OBs, General Docs, Interns, and Cardiologists. Everyone asked the same questions. They all wanted to listen to my heart and my lungs. Not one of them came to see me more than once. It was just annoying. I was tired of being hooked up to machines. I felt like they a pincushion. I was bored and exhausted and just wanted to go home and be a new family with Aaron and Evan. After my blood pressure had gone down a little, and I wasn't on as much nitroglycerin, I was finally able to get out of my bed and sit in a chair. Then a new Cardiologist, Dr. Yoo, came in and explained what needed to happen in order for me to be healthy enough to go home. I was NOT prepared for what came out of his mouth. He told me that I would NOT be able to breastfeed Evan when I went home because I would be on medication for a long time, I started to cry. He then proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't have any more children because I would have a relapse and it would probably kill me. I was crushed. I hadn't even had a chance to enjoy being a new mom to Evan and do the things I had planned because I was stuck in the hospital. They were telling me that I wouldn't EVER have the chance to do those things. I felt like my whole world was falling apart. Dr. Yoo said that it was extremely important not to put any extra stress on my heart and that my blood pressure needed to go down before we could even think about going home. How in the hell is my blood pressure supposed to go down when they deliver such awful news?!?! I cried for hours and I REALLY wanted to go home and hold Evan and squeeze him and kiss him and love him as much as I could. Aaron was really upset. He was told the day before and had requested that HE be the one to break the news to me, gently, at a later time.
On Friday, Evan was discharged. He was being well taken care of at my mom and dad's house with all of the Aunties and Uncles there. I was sad that I couldn't be with him, but I knew that I needed to stay at the hospital so I could get well so I would be able to take care of him.
When my blood pressure started to go down, they lowered the nitroglycerin and my headaches finally went away. At one point, my blood pressure got so low that I almost passed out. I found out later that they kind of expected it because they had to try and figure out how much medication it would take to lower it. Well, I found out the hard way. It happened 2 more times before they finally adjusted it to where it needed to be.
On Saturday, I was moved to the Cardiac Care Unit. I was still on IVs and oxygen, but I didn't have the blood pressure cuff or the monitor anymore. I was able to get up and walk around and sit in a chair. It was nice. I was still sad that I had to be there and miss out on many of Evan's firsts. Aaron stayed the night with me and I was so glad that I cried. I had felt so alone, even with all of the visitors. On Sunday, Aaron went to stay with my mom and dad so he could be with Evan. I was all alone again, and cried some more, but I had a surprise coming and I was very excited.
On Monday, Aaron brought Evan to see me. I was so happy I cried...again. I hadn't seen him in a few days and he looked like a whole new baby. He wasn't yellow anymore, but that wasn't what was different. He was growing and changing and I felt like I was missing it. I was angry that I couldn't leave. I was however very grateful that the nurses had pushed for me to have a private room so I could spend as much time with Evan as I wanted. :)
I was so glad that I was able to spend time with Evan, but I think that being away from him made me appreciate him more. Not being with him made me realize how much of a blessing he is. I don't take anything he does for granted. I am so glad that I have the opportunity to be his mommy.
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