So excited!

I am so excited!  I just printed out my application for the One Stop Shopping Night Craft and Etc. Sale in November.  I also just put in an order for some brand new jewelry making stuff at TWO different places.  I can't wait to get it in the mail so I can start working on my new jewelry collection.  This one is going to be called "Mothers With Heart".  It is dedicated to all the women out there who have been diagnosed with Peripartum/Postpartum Cardiomyopathy~My Heart Sisters. :)  It is a reminder of what we have gone through and what we go through every day.  I hope it will help bring more awareness to women (pregnant or not) who are of childbearing age of the dangers of this condition.  I will be the first person (I have searched and Googled and have come up with nobody thus far) to make beautiful jewelry to bring awareness to this illness.  It makes me feel good that I know first hand what other women are going through and that I may be able to help them to deal with PPCM in some way by providing awareness jewelry for them.  I am absolutely geeked to be the one who starts the trend and I hope that I am not the last. 

We don't have an official awareness color yet, but some of the ladies who were first diagnosed have used Mint Green as their color of choice since it is not currently being used for anything else.  I plan on using mint green beads, green crystals, with silver awareness ribbon charms or beads, silver spacer beads,  and a single red bead to signify our heart.  I plan on making a few different versions and I am beyond excited to start playing around with patterns. :)

 

 

Stay tuned for more information and for pictures of my new creations!

Today is the day...

Today I woke up early (if you call 8:30 early).  I am by myself enjoing the quiet, it is weird though, having "me time".  I can hear Evan starting to stir in his sleep...I wonder if he can tell when I am awake...In the quiet hours of the morning I am trying to ready myself for the events of the day.  I wanted to sleep in, but have too much on my mind for that. So, I am up and awake and ready for the day...

We leave for Houghton Lake for a week on Saturday morning and I couldn't be more excited.  We will be spending it with my mom and dad~like we do every year...but next year I think we will get our own cabin-we are outgrowing theirs :) We have needed a vacation...Aaron has needed a vacation and is extremely deserving of it for all of his hard work in the past 4 months.  We are going to be out and about getting last minute things ready for our travels and time away from home.  Most importantly, FISHING LICENCES!!! It is pretty much the only time of year that I fish, but it is a great way for me to spend time with my dad, and I am pretty good at if I do say so myself~pictures to come later of my big catch.  :)

I am so nervous.  I could hardly sleep last night and when I finally did fall asleep, I woke up every few hours, WIDE awake.  Today is also the day of my 3 month echocardiogram, even though it is closer to 4 months after my diagnosis.  I won't see my cardiologist to discuss the results until the middle of next month.  I am hoping that the echo tech will be able to let me know at least what my ejection fraction is`how well my heart is pumping.  I have been doing extremely good at following my diet and fluid restrictions, and I ALWAYS remember to take my medication.  I know that I am feeling good, and that SHOULD be all that matters...BUT I really want physical proof that I am doing well and on my way to recovery.  The only way for me to know that for sure is to see it for myself on the echo and for the tech to tell me what my EF is.  We shall see.  I will post an update later.  For now, I will just try to relax, maybe do a puzzle on Jigzone, and wait for my Dad to arrive to watch Evan while Aaron and I head off to Sparrow. 

Wish me Luck! :)

Hope

I have been having a hard time lately.  I have felt extremely overwhelmed at times and feel like every little twinge of pain means that there is something wrong with me.  I often think that I am relapsing or that I am not getting any better.  I worry that I am just not working hard enough to help my heart get better.  I know that I am trying, Aaron and I are both working very hard to make sure I stick to my diet, and I am well within my limitations.  I am proud of myself for how much I have done and how much I have had to change in such a short period of time.  I am lucky to have a husband who is so willing to change too so that I don't feel left out.  Not many people would do that for their spouse.  Yet every day I worry and get scared for no reason.  I thought I was doing so well, but when it comes down to it, I am nothing but a hot mess. 
A few days ago, my mom gave me a special card, she is always looking for cutesy stuff like that for us girls.  I hat to admit it, but I love the crazy little things she finds. :)  This particular card had a picture of some calla lillies and the word HOPE on the front.  On the back is a great verse from Jeremiah.  What was interesting about this card is that I had just seen a rubber stamp @ Hobby Lobby with the same word, and verse on it.  I wanted to remember it so I took a picture of it on my phone.  I thought it was interesting that of all of the cutesy stuff that my mom likes to buy, she chose this specific one for me.  How ironic...

"For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.  Then when you call upon me and come pray to me, I will hear you.  When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart..."  Jeremiah 29:11-13

I love this verse.  It makes me think of all of the ladies, my "heart sisters" who are there for me and offer guidance and hope for a better future, who let me know that it is going to be OK and that everything that I am feeling, they have felt too and it WILL get better.  I know that God does have a special plan for me, he definitely isn't ready for me yet.  I have a lot more work to do here before I go, so I don't plan on leaving any time soon.  I also know that the Lord will give me no more than what I can handle...I just wish sometimes that he didn't have such high expectations of me. :)

I have what?!

     After a few hours of being poked and prodded, the cardiologist came in and explained what was going on and what they needed to do.  I was finally told what was wrong with me.  I was in congestive heart failure due to Postpartum Cardiomyopathy.  My lungs were completely filled with fluid because my heart was so weak it couldn't pump properly.  It was causing the extra fluid in my body to build up around my heart and get backed up into my lungs.  That was why I couldn't breathe when I laid down and why my blood pressure was so high. 

"Postpartum Cardiomyopathy (PPCM) is a form of dilated cardiomyopathy that is defined as deterioration in cardiac function, presenting typically between the last month of pregnancy and up to five months postpartum.  As with other forms of dilated cardiomyopathy,  PPCM involves systolic dysfunction of the heart with a decrease of the left ventricular ejection fraction (EF) with associated congestive heart failure and an increased risk of atrial and ventricular arrhythmia, thromboembolic events (blockage of a blood vessel by a blood clot), and even sudden cardiac death.  In essence, the heart is weakened and does not pump sufficiently for the needs of the body.

     PPCM is a diagnosis of exclusion, wherein patients have no prior history of heart disease and there are no other known possible causes of heart failure.  Echo cardiogram is used to both diagnose and monitor the effectiveness of treatment for PPCM."

 I was told that I couldn't breastfeed Evan because the medications I needed would leach into the milk and make him sick.  I was sad, but they said that I could pump and dump so that when I went home and was off the medication, I would be able to breastfeed again.  My mom figured that the breast milk I had pumped earlier wouldn't last too long, so she had already taken care of getting some formula so Evan could eat.  He was already getting used to it by the time he was admitted for his jaundice, so I wasn't too worried.   They administered an obscene amount of nitroglycerin to try and lower my blood pressure and a blood thinner so my already weak heart didn't have to work so hard to pump my blood.  I was also put on a diuretic to get rid of the extra fluid in my body.  I was still on oxygen, but was finally able to be put on the nose hose instead of the C-pap. Yay!  After a few hours, they moved me to the Intensive Care Unit which I would learn to call home for the next few days...