Long overdue...

So I am FINALLY back at it! Lol  After MONTHS of not having a working computer, we are finally back online. :)  Thank you Uncle Sam! Lol  I will be posting all of our updates in the near future but for the time being I will leave you with this.  We are all healthy, and happy and just trying to stay warm on this oh so cold and snowy day. :)

Sofian Family Update!

Sorry for not updating in a while. Our laptop bit the dust and we haven't been able to replace it iust yet. Aaron and I both upgraded our phones, so here I am being all tech savvy and posting this from my new Android phone.  :)

We are all doing well and anxious for the holidays.  Aaron is currently in training to be an assistant store manager. He has been away  in training for 4 weeks. He is able to come home on the weekends so we are lucky to be able to spend some time with him. We miss him but are excited for what is in store for our little family.  :) His new position is in Big Rapids so we are looking for housing but not in too much of a rush because our lease here in Lansing isn't up until February. 

Evan is crawling all over the place and even trying to climb too.  He is wonderful and I praise God every day for allowing me to witness his remarkable growth. :)  He has 4 teeth already, 2 on top and 2 on the bottom. There is one more on top that is trying to make its grand entrance...which is making for a fussy unhappy little bubby at times, but we are working through it. :)

I am participating in Etsy's Black Friday and Cyber Monday sale this year so if you are interested, check out my shop for some great deals and FREE SHIPPING!!! I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving!
Http://www.simplymejewelrybyamy.etsy.com

Avocados!!

So we decided to try avocados for dinner the other night and Aaron took this video for us to show everyone what Evan thought about them.  We tried them again last night and had the same reaction so we have decided to wait a few days and then we will be trying the sweet potatoes.  Evan is such a character.  Enjoy the video. :) 

PS.  Evan is officially 6 months old as of yesterday and today I discovered he has a tooth popping through.  My baby boy is growing up so fast!

Rolly Polly

Evan is rolling ALL over the place and I am loving EVERY minute of it. He is so fun to watch. He reaches for everything and loves getting into "trouble" as he tips over baskets.  He is so cute when he tips his toy basket and digs his toys out to play with. I am enjoying him at each and every step of his development.  On Monday Evan will be 6 months old and we are looking forward to starting him on solid foods. Monday for dinner we will be trying sweet potatoes and I can't wait to try out my new food mill. :)
We will be doing avocados too and then maybe bananas. Wish us luck. :)

PPCM Awareness Jewelry

So I finally have some bracelets made and listed in my shop.  I have had 3 sales so far and hope to have even more in the future.  The lovely ladies who purchased bracelets are some of my "Heart Sisters" and they very much like what they recieved.  I am so happy.  I plan on making and listing 10-15 more in the next month, if I am able.  Evan has been keeping me on my toes and so I really haven't had much time to do a whole lot.  He is rolling all over the place and enjoying every minute of it. :) 

http://www.etsy.com/shop/SimplyMeJewelryByAmy?section_id=10346725


That's about all the new stuff that I have for now, someone is waking up as I type for a midnight feeding...I think we might be having a MAJOR growth spurt. :)

~Good Night
~Sleep Tight
~Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite. :)

So excited!

I am so excited!  I just printed out my application for the One Stop Shopping Night Craft and Etc. Sale in November.  I also just put in an order for some brand new jewelry making stuff at TWO different places.  I can't wait to get it in the mail so I can start working on my new jewelry collection.  This one is going to be called "Mothers With Heart".  It is dedicated to all the women out there who have been diagnosed with Peripartum/Postpartum Cardiomyopathy~My Heart Sisters. :)  It is a reminder of what we have gone through and what we go through every day.  I hope it will help bring more awareness to women (pregnant or not) who are of childbearing age of the dangers of this condition.  I will be the first person (I have searched and Googled and have come up with nobody thus far) to make beautiful jewelry to bring awareness to this illness.  It makes me feel good that I know first hand what other women are going through and that I may be able to help them to deal with PPCM in some way by providing awareness jewelry for them.  I am absolutely geeked to be the one who starts the trend and I hope that I am not the last. 

We don't have an official awareness color yet, but some of the ladies who were first diagnosed have used Mint Green as their color of choice since it is not currently being used for anything else.  I plan on using mint green beads, green crystals, with silver awareness ribbon charms or beads, silver spacer beads,  and a single red bead to signify our heart.  I plan on making a few different versions and I am beyond excited to start playing around with patterns. :)

 

 

Stay tuned for more information and for pictures of my new creations!

A Day to remember...

Yesterday we went to Domino Farms in Ann Arbor to meet with Evan's hand surgeon.  FINALLY!  It was a nice ride there but I was a bit anxious.  I tried to keep the conversation light, so Aaron and I talked about all kinds of things, the weather, work, possibly looking at buying a house in the spring, etc.  Before I knew it, we were there.  I'm not exactly sure what else they do there, but I saw all kinds of animals as we pulled into the parking lot.  There were long horned bulls, striped cows from Scotland, and even some alpacas.  It was neat see them all grazing all around the building.  I wish I had taken my camera, I definitely will next time we go there.  The wait wasn't too long.  We got some x-rays and then we waited a bit more.  When we went in to see the doctor, the nurse was super nice.  She took a look at Evan's hand and said, "Oh, that's not too bad."  She said that they see cases like Evan's at least once a month.  That made me less nervous just knowing that Evan wouldn't be a first for them.  The PA came in first and then went to get the doctor.  When Dr. Chung came in he was very serious looking.  He asked some questions and took a look at Evan's hand.  He said it wasn't too bad, but it WAS going to be tricky to fix due to the location of the bands.  He said that we will wait until Evan is a few months older before we do his first surgery, there will be more to come as he grows.  When we do, he will have the band on his left leg released, some of the bands on his hand, and also the band on his right big toe.  Then someone came in to take photographs of Evan's hand so the Dr. can take a look and figure out what exactly he will have to do to repair Evan's fingers.  I am NOT looking forward to ANY of these surgeries, but I know that they are necessary to keep Evan growing and developing the right way.  I am nervous and a bit scared of what the recovery will entail on my part. I am not sure what to expect as far as the healing process and what we will need to do to take care of Evan properly so he heals the best he can.  It will definitely be interesting to say the least.  I will update more as we get more information, right now it is just waiting for them to schedule the surgery, it should be in November or December.



Alpacas~Taken with my phone

When we left the building and walked to our car, this is what we saw.  The alpacas had made their way to our side of the building and were grazing on the hill right in front of where we were parked.  It was kinda cool. :)

Love is...

I stood there in a tanktop and pajama shorts that had been worn for one too many days with spit-up dripping from my shoulder to my backside.  I hadn't showered in days.  We swayed back and forth, dancing to the soft melodies that came from the CD player.  A memorable song from my own childhood was playing, "True Colors" by Phil Collins in the form of a quiet lullaby just soothing enough to lull my little one to sleep.  I looked down at his round sweet face and whispered in his ear, "You are perfect",  "You are wonderful."  I make sure to tell him this every chance I get.  I kiss the top of his head and feel his fluffy blonde hair on my lips.   I remembered back to just 4 short months before when I first laid eyes on him and I began to weep.  His hair was darker and fuzzier.  He was so small and fragile and dependent upon me for everything he would ever need.  I never knew it would become something so much more than just being a mommy.  I never expected to feel this way.  I never expected to be so overcome with emotions, some new, some old.    I had finally figured out exactly what unconditional love really is.  To me it means that I would walk to the ends of the Earth for this sweet boy.  I have been to Heaven and Hell for him already and would do it again in a heartbeat.  When I met my husband I understood love, but I never thought I would ever feel THIS type of love for another human being.  It is more different than any other feeling I have ever had.  It is an all encompassing feeling that takes over my entire being.  I feel beyond blessed to be able to experience all of this and to have Evan in my life.

When I tell him I love him

it is more than just words,

it is my life,

my heart,

my soul.

He's off and Rolling!!!

Yesterday morning Evan and I were hanging out just like we always do.  It was a normal day pretty much like any other.  He was hanging out  on his activity gym enjoying the rings and rattling things that were dangling above his head while I was doing some much needed emailing and catching up after being away from home for a week.  I decided that it was time for me to eat breakfast and take my meds while he was content and not really needing my undivided attention.  I walked into the kitchen to make a bagel and grab some juice.  While my bagel was toasting, I peeked back into the living room to see the most AMAZING thing before my very eyes.


When I left him this is what he was doing...

But when I returned, THIS is what I found...

After Evan showed me his wonderful new trick, he proceeded to spit-up all over himself because he had eaten a short while before rolling onto his tummy.  When Evan was all cleaned up he decided that he would let me record his new fun trick, in case he wouldn't do it on command when his daddy got home from work.  I didn't really need to.  He has been off and rolling ever since yesterday morning.  It's kinda funny how he used to HATE it when I put him on his belly for tummy time, but now he can't get enough of it. :)   He even tries to roll while he's buckled into his bouncy seat. Lol. 

  I am so excited that he is advancing developmentally pretty much right on schedule, but I am sad that he is growing up way too fast.  I am definitely enjoying watching him grow and learn new things and I am making sure to document each and every move he makes. :)

Echo Update...

So technically the Echo tech's couldn't "tell" me anything about my Ejection Fraction, and I was really disappointed.  I REALLY didn't want to wait until August 16th for my cardiologist to tell me whats up.  But...the technicians were super sweet and they said, "Well, we can't tell you NOT to look at the screen, and if per chance we 'accidentally' leave some numbers up for a minute, we can't do anything about it."  So, it looks like they are putting it in my records as being 40%. (Up from 25% at the end of March when I was diagnosed.) YAY!!!  It is such a relief to know that what I am doing is working and helping me to get better.  I am hoping that when I go for my 6 month echo, I get even better news.  :)  I am so happy that I finally have some answers.  Now I can go about my life and keep doing what I am doing knowing that it is all ok. :)

Today is the day...

Today I woke up early (if you call 8:30 early).  I am by myself enjoing the quiet, it is weird though, having "me time".  I can hear Evan starting to stir in his sleep...I wonder if he can tell when I am awake...In the quiet hours of the morning I am trying to ready myself for the events of the day.  I wanted to sleep in, but have too much on my mind for that. So, I am up and awake and ready for the day...

We leave for Houghton Lake for a week on Saturday morning and I couldn't be more excited.  We will be spending it with my mom and dad~like we do every year...but next year I think we will get our own cabin-we are outgrowing theirs :) We have needed a vacation...Aaron has needed a vacation and is extremely deserving of it for all of his hard work in the past 4 months.  We are going to be out and about getting last minute things ready for our travels and time away from home.  Most importantly, FISHING LICENCES!!! It is pretty much the only time of year that I fish, but it is a great way for me to spend time with my dad, and I am pretty good at if I do say so myself~pictures to come later of my big catch.  :)

I am so nervous.  I could hardly sleep last night and when I finally did fall asleep, I woke up every few hours, WIDE awake.  Today is also the day of my 3 month echocardiogram, even though it is closer to 4 months after my diagnosis.  I won't see my cardiologist to discuss the results until the middle of next month.  I am hoping that the echo tech will be able to let me know at least what my ejection fraction is`how well my heart is pumping.  I have been doing extremely good at following my diet and fluid restrictions, and I ALWAYS remember to take my medication.  I know that I am feeling good, and that SHOULD be all that matters...BUT I really want physical proof that I am doing well and on my way to recovery.  The only way for me to know that for sure is to see it for myself on the echo and for the tech to tell me what my EF is.  We shall see.  I will post an update later.  For now, I will just try to relax, maybe do a puzzle on Jigzone, and wait for my Dad to arrive to watch Evan while Aaron and I head off to Sparrow. 

Wish me Luck! :)

Off to Dream Land...

I have always been one of those people who looked at other parents and said, "When I have kids I'm not gonna do that."  I will never again say that.  I HAVE done that...I have done all the things that I said I wouldn't do when I became a parent.  I think that it is easy for people who have never had children to judge or decide to do things differently.  Until you have the experience of bringing life into this world, you have NO idea what you will or will not do.  I always said that I wouldn't hold my baby all day long, yet I find that my arms ache when Evan is not in them.  I always said that my baby would NEVER sleep in my bed because it would interfere with the intimacy of my marriage, yet I wake up in the middle of the night just waiting for Evan to cry so I can run to him and bring him back to bed with me.  He has had a rough time sleeping, pretty much since he was born, and we have had to make some adjustments to our thoughts and feelings of how we had wanted his sleep habits to work.  From 0-3 months old, Evan had an infant startle reflex that would cause him to wake himself up if his arms were loose.  He would only sleep in his bed if he were swaddled and napped in my arms during the day.  When he grew too big for the sleep-sac with the swaddle wrap, we referred to our midwives who make GIANT swaddle blankets...They saved our sanity.  When he outgrew those, or it was too hot to swaddle, I would bring him to bed with me and we would fall asleep together.  Then I would wake up and put him in his own bed for the night.  My body ached from sleeping so stiffly while he was in our bed.  Thankfully, that didn't last very long.  Recently, Evan has begun sleeping by himself, in his own bed, WITHOUT being swaddled.  He is of course still rocked/held until he falls asleep, but he stays asleep in bed ALL night long! Yay!  I am so excited because now he can wear all of his cute sleepers and sleep-sacks.  He has a TON and now we can actually use them. :)  Here are a few pictures of our little guy in his sleepwear and on his way to dreamland...

Mommy wanted to snuggle in her bed!

Sleeping soundly...

Getting ready for bed...but I'm WIDE awake!

Look at me sleeping so peacefully in my cute sleep gown!
(I think I'm going to be a side sleeper when I get older.)

Feeling pretty good...

     So I was feeling pretty crappy for the last month or so.  My nerves were a  bit on the high side and it made me feel anxious.  After going to the doctor last week I discovered that I really do have anxiety.  So I have been taking medication for it and after just one week of it, I feel amazing.  I haven't felt this good since before I gave birth to Evan.  I am not all about taking medication, but man does this stuff really work.  I don't feel scared or nervous anymore.  I feel more alert and aware of what is going on.  I really think that I am just functioning better in general.  It makes me happy that I am feeling well enough to be the great mom that I always knew I would be.  I wake up in the middle of the night to feed Evan and I am actually able to stay awake to feed him and interact with him while he is eating.  I wake up in the morning with a smile and look forward to the day that is awaiting Evan and I.  I have a whole new outlook on my future and the future of my family.  I have a renewed sense of self and my place in this world.  I realize now that my anxiety was being masked and that I have had it for a while but I was on such a "baby high" for the first couple of months that it just finally started showing itself.  I am glad that I have such a great support system, my family is the best.  I couldn't have gotten through these past 3 months without them.  I am so excited for what is in store for my family and I can't wait for all of the memories we are going to make. :) 

     On a totally different note...My baby sister is getting MARRIED tomorrow!  I couldn't be happier for her.  We have been waiting for this day for her for a long time.  Now that it is finally upon us, it is a bit surreal. :) I wish Andrea and Joe all the best.  May you have many wonder-filled years together! :) I love you both! :)

We're growing bigger every day!

Hope

I have been having a hard time lately.  I have felt extremely overwhelmed at times and feel like every little twinge of pain means that there is something wrong with me.  I often think that I am relapsing or that I am not getting any better.  I worry that I am just not working hard enough to help my heart get better.  I know that I am trying, Aaron and I are both working very hard to make sure I stick to my diet, and I am well within my limitations.  I am proud of myself for how much I have done and how much I have had to change in such a short period of time.  I am lucky to have a husband who is so willing to change too so that I don't feel left out.  Not many people would do that for their spouse.  Yet every day I worry and get scared for no reason.  I thought I was doing so well, but when it comes down to it, I am nothing but a hot mess. 
A few days ago, my mom gave me a special card, she is always looking for cutesy stuff like that for us girls.  I hat to admit it, but I love the crazy little things she finds. :)  This particular card had a picture of some calla lillies and the word HOPE on the front.  On the back is a great verse from Jeremiah.  What was interesting about this card is that I had just seen a rubber stamp @ Hobby Lobby with the same word, and verse on it.  I wanted to remember it so I took a picture of it on my phone.  I thought it was interesting that of all of the cutesy stuff that my mom likes to buy, she chose this specific one for me.  How ironic...

"For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.  Then when you call upon me and come pray to me, I will hear you.  When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart..."  Jeremiah 29:11-13

I love this verse.  It makes me think of all of the ladies, my "heart sisters" who are there for me and offer guidance and hope for a better future, who let me know that it is going to be OK and that everything that I am feeling, they have felt too and it WILL get better.  I know that God does have a special plan for me, he definitely isn't ready for me yet.  I have a lot more work to do here before I go, so I don't plan on leaving any time soon.  I also know that the Lord will give me no more than what I can handle...I just wish sometimes that he didn't have such high expectations of me. :)

A good day gets even better

So today was a pretty good day.  Evan is having yet another growth spurt, he & I are trying to figure out just how much he wants to eat.  We tried 4-6 oz every 4-6 hours, a few weeks ago, but he was constantly spitting up so we had to cut back.  Then,  he was eating 4 oz every 3-4 hours and that was fine.  Now he's wanting  4 oz every 2-3 hours.  I don't mind that kind of schedule since I am at home with him during the day, but it has totally thrown off his sleeping schedule.  He was sleeping 5-6 hours every night and would wake up, eat,  and then go back to sleep.  Now he eats, and wants to stay up for a while, THEN go back to sleep.  Today I decided that since it seemed like he was hungry ALL THE TIME, it might be a good idea to try and give him a little bit more than 4 oz.  He a really happy guy after that.  He was awake and alert and was really having fun.  He even giggled at me and Aaron for the very first time!  He is amazing!  Anywho, he ate 6 oz  about 2 hours ago, and NO spit-up whatsoever! Yay.  Maybe we can keep this up and he will go back to sleeping through the night again.  That would be awful nice of him.  :)

Been a while...

It has been a while since I have posted something and I have a minute to myself.  I figured I should write while I have the opportunity.  This post is about me and how I have been feeling the past few weeks.  I'm not sure if it has anything to do with hormones or not, but this is just how I feel.

I’m just so Tired…

Tired of being tired

Tired of being sad

Tired of being scared

Tired of feeling bad

Tired of being a burden

Tired of being alone

Tired of all the pain

Tired of the unknown

Tired of being angry

Tired of being nervous

Tired of being doubtful

Tired of feeling worthless

Tired of being weary

Tired of being unhappy

Tired of being fearful

Tired of feeling sorry

Tired of being a hassle

Tired of feeling lonesome

Tired of that constant ache

Tired of my future and what may never come

Tired of being frustrated

Tired of feeling edgy

Tired of being uncertain

Tired of feeling empty

And tired that I won’t ever be,

Just plain old ME…

Not-so-happy camper...

     So, Tuesday I had an appointment with the cardiologist.  I had a huge list of questions for him and I was hoping to get some positive answers.  I just wanted to know that I could do "normal" stuff again.  I was none too enthused when he crushed my hopes of getting better soon.  He was also very cold and not too optimistic about my approach to natural healing.  I want to go to the chiropractor, he said, "That doesn't really work.  It's only psychological."  I wanted to start taking some supplements.  He said "They won't work, it's a waste of money".  I have been wanting a new tattoo for more than 5 years now, and I have found the perfect design that represents me and the struggles that I have been through in the last few months. He said, "I wouldn't recommend it."  (I think that was more of a personal preference on his part and not so much a medical reason.)  He also said that I needed to stop eating so much broccoli because it is screwing up the results of my blood tests (it has to do with the Coumadin that I am on). That stinks because the only thing that tastes good without salt is COOKED BROCCOLI! Did he offer a solution to my predicament? Nope.  He just said either to eat it EVERY single day, or not at all.  I understand why, but I don't get why he didn't suggest something for a compromise.  :(

     I was fairly angry with him at this point, but got plain ol' pissed off when he made his next comment.  He asked me if I was breastfeeding!  I almost fell out of my chair.  Did he completely forget that he was the one who told me NOT to breastfeed Evan when I went home from the hospital?!?!  Did he forget that HE said that the medications I would be on would leach into the breast milk and make Evan sick?!?!  I was so angry!  HE was the one who prescribed the meds!!!!  Was he saying what I think he was saying?, that I COULD have breastfed Evan when I was released?  Why didn't he tell me that, why didn't anybody tell me it was OK????  :(  I can't believe he let me pump and dump and get Evan all situated with formula when I could have been giving my son the best nourishment possible this whole time! 

     As I waited for more unwanted words to come out of his mouth, I sat and thought for a minute that maybe I needed to find a new cardiologist.  I need someone who is going to be on the same wavelength with me, or rather someone who I wouldn't mind being on the same wavelength with.  I wouldn't mind one who is female who would be better able to answer my female questions.  And I wouldn't mind one who would be more open to "natural" healing and such.  I needed someone who was going to be more in tune to my thoughts and feelings about this whole condition and new lifestyle.

     After what seemed like an hour of wasting my breath asking questions that he seemed to not really want to answer, the cardiologist said he was adding ANOTHER medication (to my already long list of drugs!) since I WASN'T breastfeeding of course.  He said that it is supposed to help keep my blood pressure low since it had been a bit high. I am already taking one that helps lower it so I am not quite sure why he wants me to take another one, but I guess since I'm not the doctor I don't have much say in the matter.  I discovered, however, that after taking it just once that it makes my blood pressure drop way down, 88-99 over 65-70.  The last time my BP was that low was when I was in the ICU and it made me dizzy and I almost passed out.  It worries me a bit.  I can't be on a medication that might potentially make me pass out.  Especially when I am the sole caregiver for Evan during the day. I think that it just makes me nervous.  And I really don't need ANY other stuff added to my list of things that make me nervous or anxious right now. 

     I go back to see the cardiologist in a month, so we'll see what happens then.

New Blog

I decided to start a new blog in the hopes of helping other people who may be in a situation similar to mine.  It is still under a bit of construction, but I do have some helpful information posted in the mean time. :)  Enjoy!

http://tastes-like-cardboard.blogspot.com/

It's been a while...

     It has been a while since I posted anything, so I decided I should try while Evan is content at the moment.  To fill you all in on the goings on lately, I will start with the beginning of May.  Evan had his very first sleepover (on purpose) with my mom and dad so Aaron and I could get a good nights sleep.  It was weird.  I missed Evan, but knew that I needed the sleep.  I had my very first Mother's Day.  It was nice.  Aaron and I stayed at home for dinner, it is just easier for me to cook because of my special diet.  We watched some movies and I think I even went to bed early. :) 
     I am still doing well with my diet, fluid restriction and remembering to take my medications.  My blood pressure is where it should be, and I am maintaining my weight.  I really have been doing well, but the other day something happened. All of a sudden I didn't feel right.  I got a little light headed and dizzy, so I took my nighttime medication since it was time, and I checked my blood pressure.  It was elevated and so was my pulse. I sat down and tried to focus my breathing hoping it would help.  I was scared. I thought I was having a relapse.  I called the cardiologist who was on-call and he said it wouldn't be a bad idea to go to the ER and get checked out.  It is amazing how fast you get seen in the ER when you have a heart condition.  We waited 2 minutes at the most and the waiting room was PACKED.  After tests and chest x-rays, and blood-work, and seeing a few doctors, I was released.  It was deduced that I was having a bit of an anxiety attack.  They gave me some Ativan and sent me home.  I don't know if it worked that night, because by the time we got home, it was 3 am, so I slept like a baby regardless of what they gave me.  Plus, my mom and dad too Evan home with them for the night so he didn't have to stay in the hospital with us. I was given a small Rx for Ativan, but I can only take it at bedtime since it makes me sleepy.  I have an appointment with my regular Doctor tomorrow afternoon to follow up.  I am hoping she gives me something that I can take for this anxiety that won't hinder my ability to function and be a mom.  We'll see how it goes. :)