Evan was born on a Saturday, and by Monday I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I hadn't slept at all. Evan wasn't fond of his bed and only slept when we held him. So it was extremely hard to sleep when we couldn't even lay him down. He was also having a hard time latching which made breastfeeding quite difficult. He cried so hard when he was hungry but he just couldn't quite get the hang of eating. We decided to use an eye dropper and milk that I had pumped so we could make sure he was eating something. And that way my husband Aaron could help feed him too. We had lots of visitors when we came home. They made sure we were fed and were resting. I was so excited when my younger sister Andrea came back from Jamaica and was finally able to meet Evan. It was nice to have people come visit and help keep us company. I must admit I was a bit nervous about taking care of Evan. I was unsure if I could actually take care of him right, even though I had spent the majority of my life taking care of other people's children.
At about 11 o'clock Monday evening, I began having trouble breathing. I thought I was having some sort of panic attack. I was sure it was some sort of postpartum mood disorder. I was scared. And the more scared I got, the worse my breathing was. I couldn't catch my breath and every time I exhaled, I heard a wheeze. It felt like someone was standing on my chest and I just couldn't breathe in deep enough. I was starting to sweat and began panicking even more. I was panting and really struggling to catch my breath. I thought my airway was closing. I was terrified that I would die and leave Aaron a single dad with a newborn. I was praying that didn't happen. I decided that it might be a good idea to call 911. When the paramedics came Aaron was feeding Evan and trying not to freak out too much, even though I know he was just as scared as I was. The paramedics checked my blood pressure and it was sky high. They listened to my lungs and said they sounded fine, but I could still hear my wheeze and it made me nervous. After they had been there for a few minutes, my breathing began to regulate and it became easier to breathe. I decided not to go with them in the ambulance to the hospital so they left.
In the mean time Aaron had called my mom and dad to let them know what was going on. When they arrived I was still a bit scared and quite shook up from the whole ordeal. My mom said that I should probably get checked out, so we got all packed up and headed to the Emergency Room. We decided to go to the one that was closest instead of the one that would have be the best. I nursed Evan for a little bit while we waited and he fell asleep. They admitted me and hooked me up to an IV and took some blood. The doctor was concerned that I may have developed a blood clot in my lungs since I had just had a baby. They did an EKG and after a while they did a chest x-ray and a CT scan of my chest. They gave me a breathing treatment that seemed to help but made me gag. After a very long and sleepless night, the doctor told me that I had patchy spots in my lungs that may be pneumonia but that I needed to go see my regular doctor for a follow-up and to give me a prescription for an antibiotic. I was discharged at 7 am I found out later that when you are admitted to a hospital, you can't see your primary care physician the same day that you are discharged from the hospital...stupid insurance! So I had to wait until the next day,Wednesday, to see my doctor.
Tuesday, the day that I was discharged, I tried to sleep with absolutely no luck. My mom stayed with us to help take care of Evan so that Aaron and I could sleep. Every time I laid down or even tried to doze off, I felt like I was going to stop breathing. When I closed my eyes and laid down, I would hear my wheeze and start to panic. My mom and I had a long talk about how I was feeling. We were both thinking that I was suffering from anxiety and panic attacks due to having a baby. I was even more convinced of this when I would feed Evan. It seemed that every time I picked him up and put him to my chest to nurse him, I would have trouble breathing. It got so bad that I would pass him off to someone else to feed with the eyedropper. I felt guilty, but I physically couldn't feed him. I felt terrible and I cried a lot because I just couldn't breathe no matter what I did.
After continuing to struggle with my breathing, I decided that I needed to do something to help. So in the wee hours of the morning, Aaron and I made our way back to the emergency room to see if there was something they could do for me. By the time I arrived, I was really having a hard time. I explained to the receptionist what was going on. She was extremely upset that the doctors hadn't prescribed me something to help. A few minutes later an intern came out and explained that they couldn't do anything for me without admitting me. I was in no mood to be re-admitted so I told him that I just needed a prescription or a breathing treatment and that it was ridiculous that they didn't give me anything when I was there before. He came back a few minutes later with a prescription for an inhaler. We had to drive to the other side of town to get it filled and by the time we got home the sun was coming up. Thank God for my mom. She is amazing and I am so glad that she was there to take care of Evan while we were going through our little ordeal.
I went to my doctor on Wednesday and she did a few things to reassure me that I was going to be OK. She told me to lay down and relax and try to rest while she monitored my breathing and my oxygen level. She had me lay both on my back and my side, and everything seemed to be going well. My oxygen was were it was supposed to be and my blood pressure was in my normal range. She listened to my lungs and said that they did sound heavy (possibly due to pneumonia) and wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic. She said that she wanted to see me again on Friday. I went home and ate a little bit and I think I maybe even took a nap. Everyone thought that I would be alright. I had no idea there was something menacing going on inside my body...
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