I have what?!

     After a few hours of being poked and prodded, the cardiologist came in and explained what was going on and what they needed to do.  I was finally told what was wrong with me.  I was in congestive heart failure due to Postpartum Cardiomyopathy.  My lungs were completely filled with fluid because my heart was so weak it couldn't pump properly.  It was causing the extra fluid in my body to build up around my heart and get backed up into my lungs.  That was why I couldn't breathe when I laid down and why my blood pressure was so high. 

"Postpartum Cardiomyopathy (PPCM) is a form of dilated cardiomyopathy that is defined as deterioration in cardiac function, presenting typically between the last month of pregnancy and up to five months postpartum.  As with other forms of dilated cardiomyopathy,  PPCM involves systolic dysfunction of the heart with a decrease of the left ventricular ejection fraction (EF) with associated congestive heart failure and an increased risk of atrial and ventricular arrhythmia, thromboembolic events (blockage of a blood vessel by a blood clot), and even sudden cardiac death.  In essence, the heart is weakened and does not pump sufficiently for the needs of the body.

     PPCM is a diagnosis of exclusion, wherein patients have no prior history of heart disease and there are no other known possible causes of heart failure.  Echo cardiogram is used to both diagnose and monitor the effectiveness of treatment for PPCM."

 I was told that I couldn't breastfeed Evan because the medications I needed would leach into the milk and make him sick.  I was sad, but they said that I could pump and dump so that when I went home and was off the medication, I would be able to breastfeed again.  My mom figured that the breast milk I had pumped earlier wouldn't last too long, so she had already taken care of getting some formula so Evan could eat.  He was already getting used to it by the time he was admitted for his jaundice, so I wasn't too worried.   They administered an obscene amount of nitroglycerin to try and lower my blood pressure and a blood thinner so my already weak heart didn't have to work so hard to pump my blood.  I was also put on a diuretic to get rid of the extra fluid in my body.  I was still on oxygen, but was finally able to be put on the nose hose instead of the C-pap. Yay!  After a few hours, they moved me to the Intensive Care Unit which I would learn to call home for the next few days...

What's happening to me?!

     By Thursday, I was still short of breath but was finally able to catch a cat-nap once in a while.  The inhaler wasn't helping at all, all it did was make me jittery.  I still had a wheeze that kept me from sleeping, and I still felt like if I laid down that I would stop breathing and die.  My sister Andrea decided that it was her turn to stay with us.  She was amazing.  She took it upon herself to not only help take care of Evan, but she took care of me as well.  I am forever in debt to her everyone else who was able to be there, for taking the time to make sure we were taken care of.  I decided that since Evan was in good hands (Daddy's AND Aunt Andrea's), that it would be a good idea for me to take a shower and get the rest of the sticky adhesive residue from my trip to the ER off my skin before it gave me a rash.  It was lovely.  The steam even helped to clear my lungs a bit. 

     After my shower, Andrea suggested we play "photo shoot" with Evan so we could finally get some pictures up on Facebook for everyone to see. After she took a few, I decided that it would be nice to wash Evan up a little first so he would look his handsomest.  While we were giving him his little washcloth bath, I began feeling a little light-headed and I started having shortness of breath again.  My legs were really weak and I started to feel a bit funny. It was kind of weird because I have never passed out before, but it kind of felt like I was going to. Andrea finished getting Evan all dressed and I went to the living room to sit down.  

     After sitting down for a while, my breathing began getting worse and I started to cough. All of a sudden I began coughing up orange goo.  It was awful.  I had no idea what was going on.  At first I thought I was just panicking and hyperventilating.  I asked Andrea to look up online what to do if you hyperventilate.  She called my mom to see if she knew what to do.  I began coughing harder and I really couldn't catch my breath.  I was terrified.  I told Aaron that we needed to call 911 because something was seriously wrong.  I told the paramedics all about what had been going on so they knew about my hospital stay and what the doctors had thought was going on.  They checked my blood pressure and listened to my lungs.  My BP was 200ish over120ish and they said that my lungs sounded "wet".  They checked my oxygen level, it was 85%.  Normally, it should be above 95%.  They started me on oxygen immediately.  At this point I was still panicking, but Shelly, the lady paramedic, was very sweet and was helping me try to calm down.  They put me in the ambulance and Aaron rode in the front.  Andrea told my mom what was going on and she took Evan and hopped in her car.  Thank God she was there that day.  Shelly, put an IV in and we drove to Sparrow Hospital  Halfway there, my oxygen level started to go down.  Shelly said that it would be a good idea to put the oxygen mask on instead of the one that was up my nose.  I was so scared.  When we got to the ER, my dad was there waiting for us and my mom was on her way.  Andrea would be there shortly with Evan. 

  I was taken to a room while Aaron gave the intake person all of my information.  I was scared.  There were nurses and technicians all over the place poking and prodding me and hooking me up to all kinds of machines.  They told me to be still and not move, but because I was still coughing stuff up, it was really hard.  I didn't want to be left by myself, so Shelly waited with me until Aaron was able to be with me.  They took at least 10 vials of blood and then had to have a specialist come and take blood from an artery to get a better read on my oxygen levels.  It was pretty painful.  I was still having fairly labored breathing.  They moved me to a trauma room, they said it was because of all of my visitors.  I knew it was because the doctors were the ones who needed more room to move around.  I know it was really because they were thinking they would need to put me on a ventilator.  I was just praying they didn't need to do that. I was so scared.   I kept asking if they were going to crack open my chest.  Dr. Castle, one of the trauma docs, jokingly said "No, that gets too messy."  He was very kind and kept reassuring me that everything was ok and they just needed to figure out what was going on with me.

     Let me take you back to a few days before.  Evan was a bit jaundiced when Clarice, one of our midwives visited us for Evan's 2 day check-up.  She suggested we put him in the sun as much as possible, but took his blood to be checked anyway.  Before we moved to the trauma room, Aaron got a phone call from Clarice.  Evan's Billy Reuben was 21, which was way too high.  He would need photo therapy and would have to be admitted to the hospital.  Aaron explained that we were already there for me.  She called and made all the arrangements.  My mom and dad stayed with me while Aaron and Andrea went upstairs to the Pediatric Unit to have Evan admitted.   

     They did an Echo cardiogram and an EKG.  They didn't like what they saw and immediately started me on medication and hooked me up to a different kind of oxygen mask.  Many people call it the Darth Vader mask, but in reality it is called a C-Pap.  It is basically pressurized oxygen that is FORCED into your body.  It helped bring my oxygen level up, but all it really did was make my mouth and throat dry.  I was so thirsty, but for some reason they wouldn't let me have anything to drink.  I didn't know why.     My dad is diabetic and hadn't had dinner yet.  My sister Angie was able to come and sit with me so my mom and dad could get something to eat.  I was hooked up to monitors and IVs and  then they put in a catheter.  I was scared.  I still didn't know what was going on.  I felt bad for Aaron.  He had to be with Evan and I wanted him to be with me.  He had to divide his time between us and we were on opposite ends of the hospital.  I wanted to go home.  I wanted to be with Evan.  I was leaking breast milk and needed to nurse or pump. There were so many different doctors coming in and out and talking to me and asking me questions but they weren't telling me anything. I still had no idea what was wrong with me...

Why can't I Breathe?

      Evan was born on a Saturday, and by Monday I was physically and emotionally exhausted.  I hadn't slept at all.  Evan wasn't fond of his bed and only slept when we held him. So it was extremely hard to sleep when we couldn't even lay him down. He was also having a hard time latching which made breastfeeding quite difficult.  He cried so hard when he was hungry but he just couldn't quite get the hang of eating.  We decided to use an eye dropper and milk that I had pumped so we could make sure he was eating something.  And that way my husband Aaron could help feed him too. We had lots of visitors when we came home.  They made sure we were fed and were resting.  I was so excited when my younger sister Andrea came back from Jamaica and was finally able to meet Evan.  It was nice to have people come visit and help keep us company.  I must admit I was a bit nervous about taking care of Evan.  I was unsure if I could actually take care of him right, even though I had spent the majority of my life taking care of other people's children.

     At about 11 o'clock Monday evening, I began having trouble breathing.  I thought I was having some sort of panic attack. I was sure it was some sort of postpartum mood disorder.  I was scared.  And the more scared I got, the worse my breathing was.  I couldn't catch my breath and every time I exhaled, I heard a wheeze.  It felt like someone was standing on my chest and I just couldn't breathe in deep enough.  I was starting to sweat and began panicking even more.  I was panting and really struggling to catch my breath.  I thought my airway was closing.  I was terrified that I would die and leave Aaron a single dad with a newborn.  I was praying that didn't happen.  I decided that it might be a good idea to call 911.  When the paramedics came Aaron was feeding Evan and trying not to freak out too much, even though I know he was just as scared as I was.  The paramedics checked my blood pressure and it was sky high.  They listened to my lungs and said they sounded fine, but I could still hear my wheeze and it made me nervous.  After they had been there for a few minutes, my breathing began to regulate and it became easier to breathe.  I decided not to go with them in the ambulance to the hospital so they left. 

     In the mean time Aaron had called my mom and dad to let them know what was going on. When they arrived I was still a bit scared and quite shook up from the whole ordeal.  My mom said that I should probably get checked out, so we got all packed up and headed to the Emergency Room.  We decided to go to the one that was closest instead of the one that would have be the best.  I nursed Evan for a little bit while we waited and he fell asleep.  They admitted me and hooked me up to an IV and took some blood.  The doctor was concerned that I may have developed a blood clot in my lungs since I had just had a baby.  They did an EKG and after a while they did a chest x-ray and a CT scan of my chest.  They gave me a breathing treatment that seemed to help but made me gag.  After a very long and sleepless night, the doctor told me that I had patchy spots in my lungs that may be pneumonia but that I needed to go see my regular doctor for a follow-up and to give me a prescription for an antibiotic.  I was discharged at 7 am  I found out later that when you are admitted to a hospital, you can't see your primary care physician the same day that you are discharged from the hospital...stupid insurance!  So I had to wait until the next day,Wednesday, to see my doctor.

     Tuesday, the day that I was discharged, I tried to sleep with absolutely no luck.  My mom stayed with us to help take care of Evan so that Aaron and I could sleep.  Every time I laid down or even tried to doze off, I felt like I was going to stop breathing.  When I closed my eyes and laid down, I would hear my wheeze and start to panic.  My mom and I had a long talk about how I was feeling.  We were both thinking that I was suffering from anxiety and panic attacks due to having a baby.  I was even more convinced of this when I would feed Evan.  It seemed that every time I picked him up and put him to my chest to nurse him, I would have trouble breathing.  It got so bad that I would pass him off to someone else to feed with the eyedropper.  I felt guilty, but I physically couldn't feed him.  I felt terrible and I cried a lot because I just couldn't breathe no matter what I did.

     After continuing to struggle with my breathing, I decided that I needed to do something to help.  So in the wee hours of the morning, Aaron and I made our way back to the emergency room to see if there was something they could do for me.  By the time I arrived, I was really having a hard time.  I explained to the receptionist what was going on.  She was extremely upset that the doctors hadn't prescribed me something to help.  A few minutes later an intern came out and explained that they couldn't do anything for me without admitting me.  I was in no mood to be re-admitted so I told him that I just needed a prescription or a breathing treatment and that it was ridiculous that they didn't give me anything when I was there before.  He came back a few minutes later with a prescription for an inhaler.  We had to drive to the other side of town to get it filled and by the time we got home the sun was coming up.  Thank God for my mom.  She is amazing and I am so glad that she was there to take care of Evan while we were going through our little ordeal.

     I went to my doctor on Wednesday and she did a few things to reassure me that I was going to be OK.  She told me to lay down and relax and try to rest while she monitored my breathing and my oxygen level.  She had me lay both on my back and my side, and everything seemed to be going well.  My oxygen was were it was supposed to be and my blood pressure was in my normal range.  She listened to my lungs and said that they did sound heavy (possibly due to pneumonia)  and wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic.  She said that she wanted to see me again on Friday.  I went home and ate a little bit and I think I maybe even took a nap.  Everyone thought that I would be alright. I had no idea there was something menacing going on inside my body...

Evan's Story

   

When Evan was born he was perfect in every way.  Our  pregnancy, labor and delivery were absolutely perfect.  I thought, “This can’t be any more perfect!”  After my “baby high” wore off at the birth center, I noticed there was something a bit different about Evan’s right hand.  I kept thinking that he had somehow got himself tangled in his umbilical cord because there were little "strings" hanging from his fingers.

     The midwives did a great job of hiding it during our initial snuggle time so I didn’t notice it and freak out.  He has what’s called Amniotic Band Syndrome. We also discovered that the ABS had caused Evan to have somewhat of a club foot/leg as well. 





      I was nervous at first because I had no idea what to expect when we took him home.  Would he have to have surgery?  Would they amputate his fingers?  Would they have to break his leg?  Would he be ok?  I went crazy doing all kinds of research to get as much information as I could.  Amniotic Band Syndrome is not very common, but not uncommon at the same time.  “It occurs in about 1 in 1,200 live births, but is also believed to be the cause of 178 in 10,000 miscarriages.  Up to 50% of cases have other congenital anomalies including cleft lip, cleft palate, and clubfoot deformity.”  The Amniotic Band Syndrome link has some good information that you should check out as well. :)

            We made an appointment with Evan’s pediatrician right away.  She referred us to an orthopedic doctor @ the Brighton Health Center (A branch of U of M Children’s Hospital).  We go see them May 3^rd for our first consultation.  Hopefully they will tell us that Evan will only need minimal surgery and possibly a brace to straighten out his leg.  I guess we will just have to wait and see. :)

          

5 days old

    

The Most Amazing Experience!

Evan was due to be born on April 9^th but he had decided to arrive a bit early.  On Friday March 25^th I began my day like any other.  I went to work (I was a Preschool Teacher) and had a great day.   I was excited because I only had a week left of work and then I would enjoy my time at home relaxing before Evan came into the world.  I noticed halfway through the day that the back ache I had been experiencing since the day before began to get more painful.  I have a fairly high pain tolerance and didn’t pay too much attention to it.  By 5 pm it was time for me to go home.  I ate dinner and talked to a few people on the phone.  By 8 pm the pain was getting stronger but I continued to ignore it and my husband and I settled in and started to watch a movie.  We didn’t get very far into the movie because the pain was so bad I couldn’t get comfortable.  It hurt to sit or lay or even stand. 

I decided to call the Midwives to see what I should do.  Shelie called us back and said to take some Tylenol and try to get some sleep.  She really thought I was just having a back ache since my water hadn’t broken and I wasn’t having any contractions. (I thought I wasn’t but couldn’t tell because of the pain in my back.)   I took a shower and tried to get as comfortable as possible.  By 11 o’clock pm my back was in so much pain, it was unbearable.  We called the answering service again.  When Shelie called us back I told her that it felt like I needed to push but my bag of waters were still in tact and I was only having mild contractions.  She told us to start getting ready and head over to the Birth Center. 

It took us 35 minutes to get there.  We arrived at 12:15 AM Saturday, March 26th.  Shelie was waiting for us and getting the tub all ready for me.  She asked if it was ok to check to see if I was dilating since my water hadn’t broken. I was ok with that since I thought it might help explain my back pain.  She couldn’t believe it when she saw that I was fully dilated, because “most women who are that dilated don’t just walk around smiling” like I was.  I was just as shocked as she was but I finally had a reason for my back pain.  I had probably been in labor all day and didn’t even know it.   We began to settle in and I tried to rest in bed for a little while.  Then I decided to hop in the tub.

 My husband and I decided to call my mom to join us for the delivery because I thought it was getting too close and she was 45 minutes away.  My younger sister, Andrea, was supposed to be a support person during the labor and delivery.  She attended all of the birth classes with my husband and I.  She was so excited to share in our experience.  Unfortunately, she won a week-long trip to Jamaica.  She told Evan that she would be back soon and to sit tight until she returned.  She was due back Sunday.  Well, Evan decided that it was time to make his grand entrance whether his Auntie was there or not.  M y mom arrived with snacks and a smile and was so glad to share our special journey with us.  It was nice to have her there to hold me and keep me cool with a cold wet washcloth.  Clarice arrived shortly after. 

                      

At 2:05 AM my water broke and I began pushing.  I can honestly say that the most painful part of labor was the pain in my back.  I had no tearing and the contractions were not painful at all. 

At 2:53, after a fairly short amount of pushing, our little bundle of love, Evan Kyle, was born.  He was beautiful and perfect in every way. I was in shock and awe at how fast it progressed and was left with a feeling of “what just happened?” 

We held each other and waited for my husband to cut the cord.  When it was time Shelie and Clarice helped me into some dry pajamas and into bed to nurse Evan.    We laid and rested together in the cozy queen size bed as a new family.  I drank some tea, had a snack and even took a nap. 

That's my Daddy!

Hello Grandma!

After we rested, Evan and I were able to take an AMAZING herbal healing bath together, even though I didn’t have any tearing.  It was quite an experience. 

We rested in bed some more and then Evan was weighed and measured by Shelie with a really cool scale.  He was 6 pounds 13 ounces and 19 ½ inches long. 

When we were feeling well enough, it was time to go home.  It was an absolutely miraculous experience and I couldn’t have asked for a more peaceful labor and delivery.  Thank you to Clarice, Shelie, Audra and everyone else at the Greenhouse Birth Center for helping to make a wonderful memory that our family won’t ever forget!

Our Journey Begins...

    My husband Aaron and I decided when we got pregnant that we wanted to have our baby naturally, with no medication of any kind.  We also wanted to have our baby in a caring, comfortable environment, that would allow me to labor and deliver the way women were made to.  I didn't want to be hooked up to machines in a hospital where I would be restricted to a bed and not allowed to move around.  We chose to have our little one at The Greenhouse Birth Center in Okemos, Michigan.  We are so glad that we did.  Here is our story...

     We began visiting the Midwives at the birth center in September.  From our very first appointment, I knew that we were going to get the best care possible.  We were 12 weeks along and due April 9th 2011.  We saw them every 4 weeks until we were 32 weeks along.  Then we went every 2 weeks and finally every week until our due date.  We had a wonderful experience with all 3 of the midwives and I really feel like they became part of our family.  We found out the week of Thanksgiving that we were having a boy and immediately began tossing around names.  With the help of our niece Madison, we decided on Evan. 

     In February we began going to birthing classes.  My sister Andrea went with us in hopes of assisting us in the birth.  She was so supportive of our decisions.  We had a blast at each of the classes and really learned a lot.  Andrea took notes like crazy and I think at the end, she was more prepared for our labor and delivery than we were. :)

     We found out at our 32 week appointment that Evan was breech.  Since we really wanted to have him at the birth center, we talked about options to fix the situation.  I went to a chiropractor to assist in Evan turning around.  Aaron and I also went swimming to help.  We had another ultrasound at 35 weeks and found out that our efforts paid off.  Evan was in the right position! Yay!

     I LOVED being pregnant.  Aaron read to my belly from the beginning and still reads to Evan when he can.  I only gained 20 pounds and felt great the whole time.  I had no nausea, vomiting, cravings, swelling, aches or pains.  I had a bit of heartburn, but was able to make it go away with the help of some papaya enzymes. :)    All in all, I would say that I had an almost perfect pregnancy. 

          As we anticipated the birth of our son, we decided that I would stay at home with Evan and not go back to work unless I absolutely had to.  I was bringing stuff home from work almost every day and organizing like crazy.  We also ended up moving at the beginning of March which was not so much fun.  But, in the end, Evan had his own room, and we had a nice new space to bring him home to.  The rest of my pregnancy went by quick and was really uneventful.

A Little Miracle

     I think I always wanted to be a mom.  My husband Aaron and I both love children and couldn't wait to start a family of our own.   I wanted to share my passion with others and became a Pre-school teacher.  After many years of taking care of and teaching other people's children, I decided it was my time to be a parent.  After being on birth control for 6+ years, in March of 2009 I went off  it.  After trying for some time with no luck, we kind of gave up.  In March of 2010 we discovered that we finally had gotten pregnant.  We told EVERYONE and started making all kinds of plans.  Our world came crashing down on us in April when, a week before my birthday, we miscarried.  We were heartbroken.  I didn't know what to do or who to talk to.  I was so angry.  And I felt bad that we had to un-tell everyone.  After talking with my husband we decided that we needed to wait a while before trying again.  I needed time to heal, emotionally and physically. 

    Our lives changed once again a few months later.  August 3, 2010 I was supposed to start my period, but for some reason I knew it wasn't going to happen. Aaron and I were planning a camping trip for the weekend with some friends and I knew I would have a few drinks, so I decided to take a pregnancy test, just in case.  Well, even though my period wasn't technically late, the test was POSITIVE! 

 I was so excited.  We didn't tell anyone this time until we were almost 10 weeks along, just in case something happened..  Well, 10 weeks came and went with no trouble.  We were pregnant and happier than ever.  When we told everyone they were just as excited as we were.  Our little bundle of joy was set to make his debut April 9, 2011.  Life was finally good again. :)