I stood there in a tanktop and pajama shorts that had been worn for one too many days with spit-up dripping from my shoulder to my backside. I hadn't showered in days. We swayed back and forth, dancing to the soft melodies that came from the CD player. A memorable song from my own childhood was playing, "True Colors" by Phil Collins in the form of a quiet lullaby just soothing enough to lull my little one to sleep. I looked down at his round sweet face and whispered in his ear, "You are perfect", "You are wonderful." I make sure to tell him this every chance I get. I kiss the top of his head and feel his fluffy blonde hair on my lips. I remembered back to just 4 short months before when I first laid eyes on him and I began to weep. His hair was darker and fuzzier. He was so small and fragile and dependent upon me for everything he would ever need. I never knew it would become something so much more than just being a mommy. I never expected to feel this way. I never expected to be so overcome with emotions, some new, some old. I had finally figured out exactly what unconditional love really is. To me it means that I would walk to the ends of the Earth for this sweet boy. I have been to Heaven and Hell for him already and would do it again in a heartbeat. When I met my husband I understood love, but I never thought I would ever feel THIS type of love for another human being. It is more different than any other feeling I have ever had. It is an all encompassing feeling that takes over my entire being. I feel beyond blessed to be able to experience all of this and to have Evan in my life.
When I tell him I love him
it is more than just words,
it is my life,
my heart,
my soul.
<3
ReplyDelete